You, Fear of Consequences, Please Die or Get Lost!

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Many of us are taught as well as learnt to get motivated & perform due to fears of negative consequences. But our younger generations, get motivated & perform ONLY in absence of fears of negative consequences. I noticed this 1st in our kid and discussed with Dina & we both arrived at a strategy of NOT giving any instructions or requests attached with negative consequences.

Even in our life, we were blessed with loving parents. There was one great fight between my dad & mom during my last 2 years of school. I was focusing on IIT entrance exam & giving less importance to +2 exams. Nobody from Vellore as well as from State board has ever passed IIT entrance. Many of my Mom's colleagues & Dad's colleagues told them that they are gambling with my life. That's it. Mom decided to stop my IIT entrance preparation & asked me to focus on +2 exams.
I refused. Battled with Mom. Dad came into picture. He heard both of our sides. Dad defended me.

"What are we going to do if he fails IIT entrance? +2 marks also be poor & will not even get any engineering or medical seat," Mom popped up her final powerful question.
Dad became silent. I went into a turmoil. Dad was silent for couple of days. My turmoil continued.
Dad broke his silence after couple of days, "Regarding your question on what we'd do if he fails IIT entrance, I checked. 2nd attempt in the next year is there. In-person coaching classes in Chennai are there. He'll definitely pass in the 2nd attempt if not in his current attempt. But I fully hope he'll pass in the 1st attempt itself."

"Oh! 1 year loss of his life?? And, where will we go for money for all these coaching at Madras??" Mom persisted.
"Cmon. 1 year delayed entry into India's top engineering institution is fine. Let us remember God loves us & will make some way," Dad persisted.
A chill went into my heart. What I recognized & experienced was the unconditional love of my dad.
"Oh! You don't listen to me at all... That's why he is also not respecting me at all... "
Mom's continuing shouts & cries for couple more days didn't bother me.

I decided to do my best to not upset Dad's hope. I planned & back-calculated how many pages to study in each of the brilliant tutorials books per day & studied. Time wasn't enough & so cut-down my sleep to 4 hours a day for 2 years. Mom also received her peace & hope from the spirit of God, a week after the heated discussions.

In summary, our dad always had only affirming words on the potential of me & my sister, provided emotional security from the fears of Mom & other people around us, showed & taught us moral living, and established the identity for me & my sister as child of God & God as the great father of all who is in control & who'd always be creating some ways for his purpose for our lives.
Thus, my sister & me grew up with not having much fears on any negative consequences & stand-up (a.k.a rebellious) against any initiatives or encouragements that try to motivate performance with fears of negative consequences.

We only create plan, back-up plan, & risk management plan with the negative consequences info. That's why we always typically request for open & transparent communication. 😊 Cheers! & Praise God; he was, he is, & he be in control of our lives.

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