Can children keep secrets from their parents?

Many children in Christian families take offense when their parents want to know the details of some matter, which the children want to keep it as a secret. 

There are 2 important questions, which need to be addressed from a biblical perspective. 

This post is an attempt towards resolving this critical tension between children and parents. Please review the following. I look forward to your feedback comments. 

Q1: Can children, who are under the authority of their parents, keep secrets from their parents?

The Bible emphasizes the importance of honesty and integrity. It generally encourages open communication within families.

While there isn't a specific biblical verse that directly addresses the concept of children keeping secrets from their parents, several passages emphasize the principles of truthfulness, respect, and obedience.

For example, Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV) says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—which is the first commandment with a promise—'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'"

Proverbs 12:22 (NIV) also states, "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy."

While these verses highlight the importance of obedience and truthfulness, it's essential to consider the context and the specific circumstances.

There may be situations where children need to seek guidance on what to share with their parents, especially if there are concerns about safety or well-being.

However, open communication and respect for parental authority are generally encouraged within a biblical framework.

Ultimately, the principles of honesty, respect, and obedience should guide the behavior of children in their relationship with their parents, and parents should strive to create an environment where their children feel comfortable being open and truthful with them.

Q2: Why should not children under the authority of their parents keep secret from their parents?

The idea that children should not keep secrets from their parents is rooted in the principles of trust, communication, and respect within the family unit. 

Here are a few reasons why it's generally encouraged for children to be open and honest with their parents:

1. Trust and Integrity: 

Honesty is a fundamental value in many ethical and moral frameworks, including biblical teachings. Keeping secrets may erode trust between parents and children, which is a crucial foundation for a healthy relationship. Maintaining open communication helps build and strengthen this trust.

2. Parental Guidance: 

Parents are responsible for the well-being and upbringing of their children. By being open with their parents, children allow them to provide guidance, support, and wisdom in various situations. 

Parents can offer valuable insights, advice, and help navigate challenges when they are aware of what their children are experiencing.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) speaks to the importance of parental guidance in a child's upbringing: "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it."

3. Safety and Well-being: 

In some situations, keeping secrets may involve activities or experiences that could potentially jeopardize a child's safety or well-being. 

Open communication allows parents to be aware of potential risks and take appropriate measures to ensure the safety - both physical as well as emotional safety - of their children.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) encourages trust in the Lord and seeking His guidance: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." 

This involves trusting in the Lord that Godly parents are a primary channel of God's blessing in a child's life.  

4. Family Unity: 

Secrets can create division within a family. By fostering an environment of openness, families can work together to address challenges, celebrate successes, and navigate the complexities of life as a united unit.

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV) highlights the importance of unity and peace within the family: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

5. Teaching Responsibility: 

Encouraging children to share their experiences, thoughts, and feelings with their parents helps them develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. It teaches them that honesty and openness are important virtues in relationships.

While these principles are generally applicable, it's important to recognize that every family dynamic is unique, and there may be circumstances where children need guidance on what to share or where parents need to approach certain situations with sensitivity. 

Communication should be encouraged in a manner that promotes a healthy and supportive family environment.